Sunday, December 20, 2009


Einav and I, we're 14 here. This was taken during our yearly school trip in grade 8. Look at my tan! Every year we'd take a 3 day trip (usually to the desert) with our classmates and teachers. We'd camp and build fires and have outdoor sleepovers with our pals. It wasn't always great but it felt like an adventure, which was good enough.

Vera and I in kibbutz Cabri, age 15. I'm on the left, don't really look like myself. Vera and I have been friends since we were 9 or 10. We drifted apart for a year when I started dating a boy who turned out to be a complete jerk but were reunited for good in the kibbutz.

This is Noam. I had a crush on Noam when we met, he was charming and funny but a smoker!?!
I thought "EW!" and then proceeded to follow him to the "Zula" (secret smoking spot) and smoke my first cigarettes. The first time I inhaled I felt woozy and thought that I wouldn't make it to class. We were 5 minutes late and I ran back to the building in zigzags. I made it. apparently it happens and it's not a big deal! This is why and how I started smoking.

Vera and I downstairs at my house. uuuhm ok, so when we were 16 we were really into smearing ourselves with gothy make up and taking pictures of each other. We were trying to be more "creative" (we probably were). The truth is, we lived so far from anything interesting that we had to make it interesting for ourselves. Her mom found the photos and accused us of being lovers, we thought it was hilarious.

Keren and I met in the Zula one day while skipping gym class and chain smoking. Smoking was involved in every activity, obviously. I loved her right away because she wore her grandmother's clothes and despite her gentle demeanor she was pretty tough. She was the first girl I ever kissed. In the last 3 months of high school Vera and I pretty much lived at her house.

When I was 16 I dated a girl for a few months. Our relationship didn't work out at all, I found out that I was in fact straight and she wasn't. I confused having a "friend crush" with real crush or "being in love" with just loving someone. The end of our relationship was unpleasant. Then a few weeks after breaking up she sent me a very long letter about how I am a sociopath and psychotic and need help. I was furious but I knew she wrote it because was upset with me. This is me reading the letter while on a cigarette break behind the library.

Don't let the photo fool you, this man is actually 6'5".
Eran and I were always friends but in the end of highschool we became super close. He was my "prom" date. I shaved my head. We spent the entire prom night in a security booth that we snuck into, drinking wine and talking and smoking. I had a huuuuge crush on him for a couple of months, it tortured me inside but I got over it as soon as I told him about it. Then I spent 3 years in a relationship with his best friend. Weird logic?

I'm jumping way ahead of myself but here's Eran writing me a goodbye note at the airport. Sadness!

I shaved my head, remember? But at this point it's growing out and I feel ok. This is the final moment in the bathroom before end of the year critiques at school. I look angry but in reality I was so scared that my face went numb. Critique went well.

Ofir and I, at 6am. We were deliriously tired. Inside a dog house.

Ofir was in a black metal band called "Winterhorde" with some other friends.


This is Tal-El, he was with us until grade 12 but then he died in a car accident, about 2 months before graduation. It was the worst time, I've never known anyone who died up until that point. It happened on my sister's birthday and for a long time I felt guilty that the two memories were connected.

Coming back from a party at 6 in the morning to Ailon's house. Just over 19 yrs old?
Ailon's parents lived in a stone house, in the beautiful mountains. I remember that house so well. In the bottom of the mountains there was a brook. When it rained, thick fog came up from the water and traveled between the streets. One time we saw a really spectacular meteor shower while lying on the grass at night.

This is taking longer than I anticipated!
To Be Continued.


marla said...


Xenia said...

YES! oh man we had some good clothes back then.

benivulka said...

our clothes, i know!
i have so many more photos and no time to scan eaaaaahhhh

gggggggggg said...

this is so adorable!

Stephen Thomas said...

this stuff is amazing. I can't believe you have a picture of you reading a post-breakup letter when you were 16. I wish I had that stuff.

Sara in America said...

wow. you look so much like xenia in the shaved head photo.

these are great!

benivulka said...

i know i'm kind of happy that the photo exists, steve! though at the time i was pretty pissed off.