Monday, January 11, 2010


Sooo, hello! It's 2003. I'm 22 years old and I'm secretly dating a man 15 years older than me who's also going through depression meds withdrawal (bi-polar) and it's kind of hard to deal with. At first I'm in love (or maybe "in lust") and then quickly I'm not and the next two years are infused with drama, tears, confusion and psychedelic experiences, intermittently.

He's well read and has a bad temper, which I get to witness from the start of our relationship, although he never ever yells at me. One day he feels angry and punches a hole through the bedroom door. I turn a blind eye. I can sense that he really loves me a lot, which is flattering at first but later, it becomes a burden. Regardless I feel cocooned and protected enough to stay.

We live together with his ex-wife (yup) in a huge condo on Harbourfront, overlooking the lake. Their house is full of beautiful art and books by Charles Bukowski and Aldous Huxley, she is suspicious of me first, then loves me, we spend all of our time together.

They have two cats, Mutton and Mittens, who I run around the apartment with every day. Mittens (pictured) died a couple of years after we broke up.

I try to quit smoking, unsuccessfully,

and finally become friends with Isla, who I've been eyeing since 1st year! Isla and I have a class together with a kind of shitty teacher but it gives me a chance to stick my claws in her and never let go. (Isla was also my neighbour then and at the time her and I were planning our own secret moving-out-and-breaking-up-with-our-boyfriends sad party).

Isla decides to adopt a little cat named Bootsy. He is a stray. To this day Bootsy remains the sweetest most kissable kitten in the world. It's 2004 guys!

That's when I became friends with Zeesy. This is how Zeesy and I met: we both planned (secretly and separately) to break up with our boyfriends so we "ran away" from our homes "to think about life and be independent" at the same time. We end up together at this house on Manning St., where we live with a woman named Boo Watson (who's a hardcore lesbian activist, an ex boxer and the daughter of a famous radio personality), her daughter Ruby and their dog May. It's a very soothing environment for the most part. Zeesy and I spend many a night trudging through the snow to pick up pizza from Bitondo's and then eat it on the floor of my room w/some $9 Hungarian red wine.

I meet Eugene and Anna Linda somehow in the winter, I speak broken Russian to them and feel strong feelings of solidarity. Genya and Anna are together in a band called Lenin i Shumov that breaks up shortly after I meet them.

I totally fall in love with Anna Linda, she studies Russian in University and we end up having many secret conversations outside at parties or shows.

My sister Xenia decides to leave everything behind and move to Italy for a year. She's super determined and raises like $10,000 in awards and scholarships!

To be Continued


Zeesy said...

You are a time machine.

Sara in America said...

this is fun!

Xenia said...

Whatabout Noel! hahahhaa

yuula said...

yah I was thinking about it too, maybe I'll write about him next in some sort of an interlude, ha!

yuula said...

he doesn't want to be written about!

magda o said...

i can't stop staring at that photo of xenia.



Anonymous said...

that photo of xenia is mesmerizing!!!

Stephen Thomas said...

whoa interesting life