Sunday, April 25, 2010


Beautiful Spring and I have a cold.

I noticed that the older I get the more hypochondriac I am. If a sick person sneezes around me I get scared and distance myself. I bet it's insulting but I don't mean it! When I do manage to catch someone's cold or flu I see it almost as a personal slight, like, how dare they make me feel this way! I have to get over it. But do other people feel this way too? I know one person who does (we live together) and seeing him wash his hands right after high-fiving me in the morning makes me feel good inside because maybe there's a chance that I'm not the only self involved jerk around. Sorry Patrick.

I've been reading books and watching films about youth and aging and love that doesn't survive with such changes and it's so negative and ugly. Is it the truth? I doubt it. I know a couple of people who don't reveal their true age because they're terrified of how close they are to turning thirty. It befuddles me. You're not a kid anymore, get over it! I see thirty slightly differently. I know I might be fooling myself but it seems to me like a golden place to be in your life. You're no longer a girl and no one can call you one. You're smarter and wiser and still as beautiful and active. You know better when it comes to picking partners, apartments, jobs, what to eat for breakfast, what your boundaries are, etc.. What's there to be afraid of? I can't wait. 30 in 2010!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i was scared of turning 30, but i am angry about the fact that it was scary.
nothing changes except that with every year I get happier and know myself better and feel more confident in my life decisions.

when you imagine being 60 and looking back on 30 you realise how young it is. 20 seemed old. 25 seemed old. i want to stop worrying about age, i want to embrace 40 and 50 and 60 and 70 and 80 and 90 and never feel 'old'.