Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I don't want cold hearted people in my life. When I was a child I had this very specific nightmare: I wake up in the middle of the night and my family and friends suddenly turn on me and chase me down a dark path with dead indifferent eyes. I started dreaming about it after reading The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury. I won't go into detail but if you read the book you'd know which chapters I'm talking about. As a child that dream terrified me but now I obvs see that it's all about: it's trust, or wanting to trust. My point is, I no longer have the patience to break through icy barriers, to wait around and wonder whether someone's gonna turn on me. I used to feel guilty about cutting people out of my life but I don't anymore because I don't want to play that game. Sometimes we just don't belong together.