Tuesday, April 26, 2011

One positive aspect of growing up a bit is knowing what you want or what you like. I'm naturally drawn to sources of information that expose a different, shadier side of an idea that I aspire to, or a person I admire. I want to admire but at the same time I want to destroy them completely so that they have no power over me. It's easy to be idealistic in theory. It's even easier to change your mind and move on to the next idea once you find a flaw in what you believe in.

I'm reading the Bolano book about Infrarealism, which should be right up my alley. It's supposed to be about poetry, socialism, violence, shoplifting, promiscuity. Infrarealism was meant to encourage Latin American youths to blur the lines between life and literature by exciting the kind of fiery idealism I usually find attractive. In reality the book is about poverty and drugs, disease, cockroaches and disillusionment, it's all pretty depressing. It's becoming a theme with me, with what I find interesting, looking for the cracks to bring down the most beautiful ideas.

A few months ago Geoff Pugen showed me this video titled "This is Alaska". It was difficult to watch because it reminded me of our life on the island this past winter. It's hard to suddenly realize that you're in it for the long haul. Everyone around you tries to keep positive but many days you feel trapped and lonely and nature's closing in on you. It was very dark on the island in the winter, darker than I've ever seen winters be, I don't know if I can ever do it again. Despite making amazing friends / family.

You should watch the entire thing because it is finally online. And then listen to the song underneath, I've been listening all yesterday, I truly love it. We're driving back to Montreal now, have a nice end of April, friends.

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